You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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