I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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