I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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