i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
