You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
