the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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