if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize