Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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