Fine. I'll sleep in my office
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
