i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
