I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize