i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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