carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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