Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
