from now on my penis is your penis
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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