Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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