we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
