youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
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He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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