then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
