I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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