a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
