..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
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These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
wow bdsm is so cute
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