if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize