she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
