How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
