so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize