There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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