your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
