His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
