I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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