I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
