Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
