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I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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