Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
