so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
