yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize