I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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