Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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