Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I love having hate sex.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
