I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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