Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
