She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
