so explain again why im purple
no
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
