What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
