That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
