Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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