It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
