How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
