apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
