As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
