I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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