She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
