we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
