he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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