I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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