so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
