Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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